Refocus

quiero dibujar

quiero hacer fotografías

quiero estudiar, ampliar mi cultura general

quiero hacer mas amigos

quiero ser mas extrovertida

quiero ser mas segura, estar feliz de ser yo y nadie mas

quiero hacer ejercicio

quiero sacar un blog sobre mi oficio

quiero un tumblr sobre mis hobbies y cosas que me divierten/relajan

quiero un portafolio

quiero ser aceptada en una universidad fuera

quiero una beca

quiero una experiencia fuera de este país

Attempt #3

lo quiero mucho

disfruto mucho de su compañía, compartimos muchos gustos

confio en el

siento que tenemos un amistad, genuina

me hace sentir segura, tranquila, en paz

me tiene paciencia, me siento aceptada

me hace sentir querida, apreciada, amada

siento que me ofrece muchísimas cosas vitales para yo ser feliz

* * * * *

no estoy segura de que lo amo

siento que le falta cosas a su carácter para que yo me "enamore"

siento que falta pasión

de manera intermitente siento que falta atracción fisica

* * * * *

temo que haya alguien 'out there' más adecuado para mi como pareja

pero temo no encontrar todo lo que él me ofrece en nadie más, temo perder la comodidad y la aceptación en que disfruto al estar con él

* * * * *

quiero sentirme enamorada, locamente enamorada, como leo en libros, veo en películas y como una vez me sentí con una ex-pareja

siento que en la vida lo único que vale la pena es amar, genuina y totalmente, y eso es lo que quisiera conseguir

I miss his shenanigans

Last week my 4 year old pitbull, Billy Bob, died. I'm still having trouble getting used to the reality of his death. I didn't see it coming. Actually, no. I didn't want to see it... He was sick (leptospirosis), but we were giving him the best vet treatment we could. His vet never actually said he was going to die. But, later on, I found out that Billy's illness was in fact fatal in most cases.

He was a very good dog; kinda crazy, but good. I miss him.

I want to read

My semester ended and a new one just started. No complains so far. Lots of good teachers and interesting classes. 

This semester I intent to make myself busy 24/7. I work better under pressure. Otherwise, I don't get things done, and instead I sleep.

I want to start reading regularly. So today I bought a book recommended by my sister's boyfriend: "Todos los fuegos del fuego" by Julio Cortázar. I know nothing about it and hopefully that will make it all more interesting. 

Expect comments on it soon. Perhaps in Spanish... or not.

Where to be?

I've never really liked the idea of living in New York... But things seem to point out NY is my best (most affordable) option, if I ever do decide to get out of here.

I wanna leave, but it's so hard I'm having trouble figuring out wether it will be worth it or not. Will dropping out and starting all over again be worth it? Or should I just finish this degree here... and then leave to get a second degree? Arrg! These two lil questions mess up my mind and mood worse than my period.

I don't know what I'm going to do... I don't know what I should do.... I don't know anything about Medieval or Renaissance art and I have an Art History final tomorrow. Crap.

Regrets aren't pretty

I went to Houston, TX, came back to DR and since then I've been studying the possibility to leave home and transfer to a college in the US. But there's so much legal crap going on, every time I think about it my head hurts and I get frustrated.

Thinking I've been wasting my time for the last year and half, makes me want to slam doors, break glasses and swear at loud. Essentially, because it's all my fault. I should have made the decision to leave DR the minute I got out of high school. Or at least plan on it since then. That way I wouldn't have wasted as much time!

I keep saying "wasting time", but truth is I've learned a few things here... However, graphic design and web development are two different things! If only school wasn't so time consuming, I could try to learn programming by myself...

Well, enough regretting. *talking to self* Focus, woman! I need to figure out how to get out of this country.

Tu:

• Te alejas y me alejas;
• no confias es mi;
• no compartes lo que piensas/sientes/quieres;
• egoístamente acostumbras decir cosas que sabes que me lastiman y esperas que las aguante siempre porque sabes que te amo;
• sueles creer que mi intención es dificultarte la vida, cuando lo que quiero es ayudarte a conseguir lo que quieres en ella;
• ...

I tend to completely forgive and forget everything you do to me, but I dont want to anymore.

If, instead of scratching off items from this list, I keep adding, then Ill know for sure what I have to do.

Yes, school is back

School's been sucking all of my time... but I can't really complain. I'm enjoying most of my classes :) I love Graphic Design.

This semester I took Photography; that means I'll be posting photographs here soon enough! So far the teacher has: assigned us a research paper and made us watch an HBO film about Spencer Tunick's photography. Boring.

Apparently, my teacher loves Tunick's photography and that is... perturbing, 'cause I don't like this dude's photography at all! I found beauty in like 2 shots out of 300. Nonetheless, I can't ignore the beauty in the project's process. I mean, what people experience and learn through the opportunity to pose nude along with a few hundred other people is just beautiful. Or at least, that's what the movie made me see/feel/think.

Goodbye oh-seven

2007's last night was the oddest night of all. First, I lost my sense of orientation that whole day! I had no idea what day it was, what time it was and sometimes even where I was (I moved a two months ago, so that doesn't help). Everything felt weird. Time went by slowly. And, to my surprise, I didn't do anything. I didn't go out as I thought I would and I didn't stay awake until sunrise.

This year's start wasn't exactly bad, but it wasn't good either; and definitely not what I had planned. :( I hope that's not the prelude to my 2008 Life Story.

Anyway, I started school yesterday (Thursday)... And already professors are missing classes. They think their time is 100 times more valuable than ours. Don't you just hate that? When you're forced to waste your time like that? Wasting time is only fun when you are procrastinating, otherwise is irritating. Grrr. I'm gonna go now.

Not much of a news girl, but

Found this shocking news article, "Man jailed for urinating on woman", while checking my email today. It's old news (October 26, 2007), but still fckng incredible. Seriously, can you believe someone would do that?! I know he was high and all, but you wouldn't see that kind of shit here (Dominican Republic) in a million years. At least I think so... Hope so.

Hard times for romanticism

Hahaha, lmao. This quote, from Appassionato, made my day yesterday. It made me think romance is, in fact, dead:

Help save romance: the next time you see an attractive person, walk up to him/her and say "I love you".

There's this deodorant brand (Impulse) which uses this reality as fuel for it's new line of advertisements. It's hilarious really. Son tiempos difíciles para el romanticismo. Hard times for romanticism.

Men can suck, greatly.

Introspección navideña

Christmas: Jesus' birthday, right? Bet you didn't remember that. Neither did I. Doesn't it make you feel a bit guilty? Bet its does. I know I do. (Unless you are an Atheist.)

I'm not a Christian. Never been one. However, I do believe there's something, someone greater than all of us; creator of it all. Regularly, a few minutes after dancing around that thought I become skeptic... And then I go: really?! Come-on, that can't be true... could it? o.O Makes my head hurt. And my heart too, sometimes. Me caring so much, or being so sensitive to this matter definitely keeps me out of the Atheist list. It's a bit confusing not knowing where to stand in this particular subject.

I've been hanging out with this girlfriend from school that's a Christian; a pretty hardcore Christian. She loves God and all He's ever said... She's a very cheery person. It's lovely how she always has something goofy to say to make everyone smile. Such a happy spirit she has. I adore her :) Nevertheless, her Christian lifestyle, although I couldn't say it is too restricted, isn't exactly appealing, to me. I don't know, I just don't feel a 100% sure God exist; neither do I feel that devotion or passion for Him.

Another issue might be, me having a relationship with an Atheist. Although, I've made it clear to him I don't share his view on this, I feel he would have a hard time accepting me converting. Not like I'm even close to doing so, 'cause like I said I'm not sure where I stand when it comes to this.

Well, I guess I'll just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happened. Period.

PS. I thought people outside Blogger could comment, but I had some option blocking such action (opss), but now that's fixed. Come one you invisible visitor, drop a line or too.

Feeds, huh?

So, I'm going to briefly refer to web feeds, due to what I previously discovered... Not that I'm some sort of feed guru (o.O) I just think is too much of an useful tool to be ignored.

Wikipedia says:

A web feed is a data format used for providing users with frequently updated content. Content distributors syndicate a web feed, thereby allowing users to subscribe to it. Making a collection of web feeds accessible in one spot is known as aggregation, which is performed by an Internet aggregator. A web feed is also sometimes referred to as a syndicated feed.

In simpler terms, feeds are your friend. This type of file gathers all the modifications/updates done to a website, so you -through an aggregator or feed reader- can keep track of them. You can organize multiple feeds in you feed reader; so updates can come to you, instead of you to them. You don't have to check your favorite regularly-updated blog every 5 hours anymore! Now, your feed reader of choice will do that for you.

If you are Firefox user there's this nifty plug-in (Sage) that does the job beautifully. There are also web-based feed readers, as well as applications for every platform.

Web-based aggregator:
Bloglines (free)
Rojo (free)
NewsGator Online (free)

For Mac:
Shrook (free)
NewsFire
NetNewsWire

For Windows:
SharpReader (free)
FeedReader (free)
FeedDemon

Usually, bloggers with feeds enabled in their blog place an "orange square" (feed logo) somewhere in their websites, so regular visitors can subscribe to their feed.

(Ptss!: RSS and Atom are pretty much the same thing: feeds; different flavors of feeds, sort of.)

I've been inspired

I have more than enough free time to make a decent layout, but I just haven't felt too creative lately (bad thing, horrendous thing for a graphic designer). I'm craving some play time with CSS, it's been too long since I coded my last website. The thing was I lost interest... I didn't care for blogging, at all. And I became so lazy when came to coding and designing for the sake of it. My homework I could do just fine, but motivation to design something, just because?! Ufff, she divorced me sometime while I wasn't looking... Good news, though! We are working things out, and I now feel like making a layout inspired by scrapbooking. Yes! Scrapbooking. I've never really done this, but it seems like sooo much fun. :)

I've been offline for quite a while now, so yesterday I went daylies-hunting (yep, it's a spontaneously generated technical term) and I found some really nice weblogs Scribble Scratch, For Desperation, Hi Love, LOVEtap.

Some don't have a RSS feed, which surprised me. Are there still blogging-people out there who don't know what a RSS feed is? I'm inclined to believe: of course not! But this tells me otherwise... I might write a little about what feeds are tomorrow, just because. (Done! Check it out.)

My siblings kick your siblings' ass

Being the youngest certainly has it's benefits. Really big ones. Although for years I was my brothers' personal slave (whom would punch me in the chest like they were pushing buttons, as if I was Rosie from the Jetsons or something, and asked me to do all sorts of stuff for them) I now get tons of stuff from them, if not everything.

I have a Macbook Pro thanks to my oldest brother. And a Palm Treo 700p. And a 10.1 megapixel Casio digital camera...

My sister, the oldest one of all of us, bought me my iPod*; as well as most of my clothes and accessories. And then there's my other brother, who's older than me but younger than the rest (we are 4, btw). He doesn't exactly get me material stuff, but he makes me laugh 24/7 and I love him with all my heart. You inevitably have fun around him, he's just hilarious.

It's inexplicable really just how well we all get along.

*= Sad news: I lost my iPod a few days ago! (Whyyy Witty?! Why would you do such a thing to me?!) I think I left it in the gym... I went next day asking about it, but no one had seen nor reported anything o.O I guess someone found Christmas early this year.

Wow, this post couldn't be any more pointless...

Too lazy to stop and think about a proper name for this thing

Procrastinating, that’s my thing. I’m too good at what I shouldn’t be good at and too lazy for everything else. I need to feel obligated to do something to actually do it. I won’t function unless I’m under stress. I’ve got this final tomorrow and have only read two pages of the material; it’s not too vast, but damn! I wish I was one bit more responsible, dedicated, etc. I don’t care too much for that test tomorrow, cause I don’t care much for the class either: Marketing... It is quite interesting, though. There! This is what I mean, I have one tiny bit of motivation but somehow I manage to completely inhibit it and just let laziness rule. It’s a vicious circle I would love to get out of. I don’t think I like people like me. The only thing that makes me different for the moment is that people around me can’t tell I am what I am: lazy, irresponsible, mediocre… everything but smart. Damn, I feel doomed to fail in the near future.

Now that I’ve said that out loud, that I’ve personally recognized it, I guess the only thing left to do is, fix myself? Hmm, doesn’t sound too easy... anyone wanna help?

Ana banana

Cliqueando por ahí me encontré con un blog muy interesante: Ana rima con banana. Autoría de una ilustradora dominicana de intrigante talento; Ana Banana le dicen. Me parece que tuvo una exitosa exposición recientemente (¡qué lástima haberme enterado tan tarde de su existencia!)... Y tambien un evento similar a un bazar. Art & Crap se llamó. Y me parece que se dio bien nice.

Bien graciocillas las postales que hace, vale la pena tomarse un momentito pa' chequearlas.

blablahthon to come

"I wish I was a mermaid,
and friends with all the fish."

Mi memoria es terrible, and not in a good way.
Blogging is the greatest thing i've discovered online; helps me stay sane... and remember things! Ambas cosas a la vez ¡qué polifacético! ¿no? Oh yeah, soy otra espanglish freak más. I'm as hyper as it gets. Not really, I'm just random. Real random.

Randomness is good.